I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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