I'll bet she douches with gravy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
