party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I need a burrito and a hug.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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