I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
