Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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