thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
