Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
