nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
