Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
