I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
