where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
