Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there is glitter all over my balls
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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