That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
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