I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Panties = found
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
