Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I don't want my vagina anymore.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
