The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
