Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
