I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
