Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
