There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
