You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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