I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize