Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
