We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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