I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Randomize
