Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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