I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
