I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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