I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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