when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I faked an abortion last night.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
