then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize