Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
