Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
