you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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