I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize