Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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