You smell like stripper and shame
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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