Can i not drive my cunt home
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
