i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize