my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
