Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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