We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
