I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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