I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
