People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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