No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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