Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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