The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
