it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
