I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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