come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
