If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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