apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
