meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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