We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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