I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
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