He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
