You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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