My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
