your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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