I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
