I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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