Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
