I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
