so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
