I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
