playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
