Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
