i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
