a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Damn victory sex feels great
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
